‘It is important to understand that my journey was and still is very very painful’ 

This is apparent if you watched me when I first appeared on This Morning, you could see the pain in my eyes, you could feel the pain in my words. Yesterday again I appeared on TV, The Lorraine Kelly Morning Show, this time a year later.

I didn’t want to come across like a victim because that I am not, I am a survivor! It’s important for those that watched/listened to me and may have thought:

Ahhh! But she looks well, she has got over the ordeal rather quickly, look how confident she is, she doesn’t sound or look like a victim!

Let me just say for me to be able to help another I feel you need to have dealt with your pain, your torture, your anxieties and your shame, otherwise you are helpless to another and will only add your burdens to theirs. This is not empowering.

I am still healing, although I have very much taken back my power,  I hold my head high and walk strong.

I still feel pain, hurt and mistrust!

Talking on The Lorraine Kelly Show yesterday opened up the pain I had hidden away, the pain I thought I had dealt with. I woke up this morning feeling very very low, emotionally fragile and started to cry. I know in time it will pass and I will find that kind heart that beats in time with mine. I cry  and laugh to help me heal but I laugh more.

I wanted to show those who cannot speak up or who are afraid and still ashamed that life goes on. You cannot stay a victim forever, this I know is very hard and does take time, probably a very long time. I have connected with people that have wanted to ‘take their life’ and end the pain of public shame – I haven’t personally had those thoughts but empathise with those who do.

This is not an easy journey, its painful and at times very very unbearable for many. 

Becoming a survivor means the perpetrator hasn’t beaten you, you have taken back control and continue to live your life and I’m all for surviving as we only have one life and god knows it’s short enough! #revengeporn

What an amazing journey this last year has been! Monday 23 November 2015,  I was invited to talk on the Lorraine Kelly Morning Show at ITV Studios.

Watch my discussion with Lorraine Kelly by clicking the link below:

http://www.itv.com/lorraine/hot-topics/i-was-a-victim-of-revenge-porn

This has always been and will continue to be about keeping the topic of revenge porn alive. Sharing my experience and sharing how to take your power and control back after having your personal photos shared with the whole world. The connection I had with Lorraine was warm and caring, she understood, she empathised and paid attention to every word I said.

I am no longer a victim of revenge porn but a survivor, a strong woman that has taken back control of her life, I walk with my head high as I know that I did nothing wrong! I was the victim in all of this and I never consented to allowing my intimate photos to be shared outside of my ‘then’ relationship. Hatred and anger has left my heart and I now embrace the journey that has been given to me. My path has opened doors and enabled me to connect with people all over the world.

It makes me so happy to be able to connect with people who are still victims and to be able to support them emotionally through their journey, its a honour.  I will continue to speak up and speak out about Revenge Porn until such time that victims feel strong enough to walk by my side and speak in unison.

If you have been affected by Revenge Porn and don’t know who to turn to for emotional support please contact me. I will listen without judging you, I will show compassion because its so close to my heart and I have been there. I understand and  know the journey you are on. Reach out to me and together we can make a difference. Take back your power and regain the strength to move on in your life and share the burden. Follow me on twitter @voic_tweets and Instagram victims_of_internet_crime. I am also on facebook and email: info@voic.org.uk, so there are many ways you can reach out and connect with me.

Imagine a ship that travels from port to port, picking up passengers from near and afar. We mingled together and had many a good times, laughter was had but also sad times.

There were ups and downs on this ship but friendship kept our spirits high. The years past and the ship no longer visited the ports but drifted into the ocean and lost it’s direction but friendships kept our spirits high. We laughed and joked and kept the momentum going.

The waves became rockier and the wind would howl against the mast of the ship. Suddenly I felt the water beneath me, it was waist high….was I drowning? No I was swimming and friendships kept my spirits high.

The water was deep as I swam and swam with no clear direction. I could see the shore ahead, the sand was golden and the waves calm as the water ebbed and flowed but as I swam the sharks attacked hungry for a weak and helpless catch but I swam towards the shore, I kept thought of the friendships that kept my spirits high and fought off the sharks with this in mind.

Finally I reached the shore, I took a deep sigh and a very deep breadth it was at this point I realised that the friendships that had kept my spirits high was the reason I was alive.

Revenge Porn is now a criminal offence in England and Wales. Although the law has recognised the effects Revenge Porn can have on it’s victim, is it really enough of a deterrent!

Perpetrators can now receive up to 2 years imprisonment  but victims need to show evidential proof that they have indeed been a victim of such a vindictive crime, putting the victim in a position of fear. So what happens if you can’t prove without reasonable doubt that you have had intimate photos or videos of yourself shared for the whole world to see? Well let’s watch and wait as the time passes and more and more victims stand up and speak out. Let’s see if the change in law really makes a difference.

I made it clear when asked on a recent interview with Channel 5 News if I felt the change in law would make a difference. Listen to what I had to say https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5obq2sOMdl4

Earlier in the year I was invited by The Bristol Cable a new independent local newspaper to give my views with other women about Sexual Harassment and Violence against Women in Bristol. I went with an open mind but mainly from the perspective of recently being a victim of revenge porn. It was a hard to topic to discuss, mainly because its such a wide subject with different strands and some of the questions asked of us I feel needed wider input and maybe another discussion should take place on a wider scale.

I did however meet some really interesting women who in their own right are doing incredible things within the community. The discussion was put onto a podcast which was uploaded to Bristol Cable’s website, have a listen:-

http://thebristolcable.org/2015/02/round-table-discussion-sexual-harassment-and-violence-against-women-in-the-city/