I have always understood that my ‘recovery journey’ was not going to be easy and that it would present many challenges; some of those challenges have been difference in perceived understanding of experience, expectations of self, others and those I support through their personal journey’s, interpretation of experience, challenging societal negatives and coming to terms with acknowledging that for some the realisation of promoting change, challenge perceptions and encouraging understanding is very painful.
I can’t deny that the term ‘revenge porn’ causes emotional harm to those that have experienced the impact of this heinous act of cruelty but ultimately we need to accept that change comes with pain and it is important and imperative that we engage, communicate, debate, express and challenge with what we already have, in my mind this is all part of ‘acceptance’ – a key word that has encouraged me to be where I am today.
Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me – was drummed into me as a child growing up in the 80’s – my life was very challenging, from a very young age I had to be tough, for so many reasons. This I guess has very much ‘moulded’ me throughout my adult life and could be one of many reasons why I have resilient thick skin, I look at challenges as a way of becoming a better me – don’t get me wrong here, I am not for one minute condoning the use of the term ‘revenge porn’ but engaging debate for you (the reader) to understand where I am coming from and for you (the reader) to understand my growth.
Image based sexual abuse or image based abuse (the terminology implemented by Professor Clare McGlynn QH (Hon) to promote understanding of experience whilst challenging and encouraging change) is very much the preferred and most accurate description of the crime. I have been using this ‘experiential description’ for many years and for sure the representation for me and many others speak volumes – the thoughtless created description (without real consultation) however has proved to be very harmful in many ways – descriptively ‘revenge and porn’ do not marry or connect with the realistic life experiences of many, as the crime is clearly a form of abuse – no doubt ‘to cause intentional harm’ – let’s be real here.
However, this terminology no matter how harmful, is unfortunately the current and most recognised form of expression and will undoubtedly be required to be used for those ‘not woke’ to educate, engage and promote societal change. I am an instigator of change and wearing that title for me, means having the duty of sharing the knowledge to trickle little by little the communication ebb and flow until the trickle overflows.
Change is definitely at ‘slow snail like progression’ but it is changing.