For god sake I was in my pink polka dot dressing gown from Asda. Not your everyday porn star image!
Many people have shared their views which have been mostly positive; It was an experience that ‘I wish no other to have to go through’ but as I write this article in reflection I know that the same fate has happened to many others.
The moment I decided to ‘stand up for myself and take the power back’ from my ex Thomas Samuel I had no clue as to what was going to happen next. I just knew that I had to turn a negative situation into a positive. The support I had was amazing I am truly grateful for all the positive comments:
‘I am so proud of you for standing up and showing the damage the internet and social media can inflict and how prolific the fall out can be. I wanted to show my total gratitude for your bravery and spirit’
‘I am really proud of you’
‘You did amazing in the This Morning interview and i learn a lot. Your a brave and amazing woman’
‘I saw your interview on This Morning; I am so proud of you; I wish the man who did this to you got a longer sentence’
‘Do you know how many women that are still out there suffering in silence because of shame; you’re doing a remarkable thing’
‘Your being brave by going public turning the bad into a positive force to help others’
‘You’re an inspirational woman hold your head high, keep strong and keep doing what your doing’
If you have been a victim of revenge porn (I actually despise this terminology and will one day come up with another more fitting name) share your story and get in contact with me. I want to support and help in anyway I can. Please do not feel ashamed. I found writing very therapeutic!
My interview on This Morning was the beginning of something that I hoped would help others going through what I had experienced and bring the issue to the mainstream audience. Little did I know how this exposure would affect, not only me as an individual trying to make good of a bad situation but also how the topic of ‘Revenge Porn’ is viewed by others.
It was definitely an opportunity I could not possibly ignore. I am on a mission to empower and support others by showing my strength and commitment to something very close to home. I have experienced mixed emotions and at times thought….
“Maybe I should have crawled under a rock and kept quiet”
In hindsight I received a lot of support and have had publicity interests to help highlight what I am doing, which has empowered me even more to reach my aspirational goals. There have also been those negative hurtful comments that you allow to ‘niggle’ away at your inner core. It’s easier for other people to make judgement or indeed feed on another persons misfortune.
The hardest part of this journey so far has been learning how to become a sieve, to be resilient and not let negativity get into your space.
Here is the link to my interview http://www.itv.com/thismorning/hot-topics/revenge-porn-victim-folami-prehaye
Firstly I would like to give my sincere apologies….! The media has its uses but unfortunately they can also take things out of context. I would like to personally apologise to any ‘victims of rape’ if I have offended you. The headline for the article in The Sun Newspaper should have read ‘cyber raped’ as this is how I feel. Cyber raped by people viewing photos of me that I did not consent to allowing them to view 48,0000 times.
“My life has been completely turned upside down. When Thomas and I took those photos, we were in love and planning on getting married. I sent him one picture and the others he took of me himself. They were for our eyes only and I trusted him to keep them between us. We were in a happy relationship and it never crossed my mind that Thomas would share the pictures publicly and use them against me.When I discovered he’d put them online and they’d been viewed by my family, friends and the people I worked with I felt sick to the stomach. I felt raped, numb and crushed. It was so violating.”
When we first got together I thought ‘wow’ and I told my kids: ‘he’s the one’. I was besotted. We seemed to have so much in common. Continue reading My Story