Sarah made contact with me back in 2019, a few years ago now and I have been supporting her ever since by being that source of non-judgmental advice, the listening ear and that support of encouragement to continue. It’s hard to imagine now that Sarah was very much at the beginning of her journey. It has been so important to me to have had the opportunity to help Sarah, as this has very much helped ‘my own personal journey to recovery’. Sarah shares her personal account of her journey below – I am humbled! At the end of her piece I have inserted a link to the documentary Sarah took part in – where she shares her story publicly to raise awareness.
How could this happen to me…a question I have asked myself many times over the past 3 years. I was a normal girl, leading a normal life, never did I think I would wear the label of victim. Never did I think I would have CID detectives visiting me at home. Never did I think I would set foot in a court room.
Aged 28 I was happily living my life, bubbly, confident, great job, engaged to be married, a beautiful son, the perfect house. From the outside I had a life many would dream of. But behind closed doors things were much darker. Every inch of my life was controlled by him, my clothes, my spare time, my relationship with family and friends. “Why didn’t you just leave” people asked, but only those who have ever been in the grips of a narcissistic sociopath would understand…I wasn’t allowed to leave. Whenever I tried, I was manipulated to return. In reality I was terrified to leave. He made me believe my life wasn’t worth living if it wasn’t with him. I was nothing without him.
But one day enough was enough. I had to go and no-one could have foreseen what the next few months would bring.
For the first few weeks I was still in his grips, I didn’t stay strong during the breakup so one evening he had persuaded me to spend one last night together. The final goodbye. And I agreed. “Why” people asked…well I was feeling empty, lonely, broken and needed to feel close to someone, and he had been the man I was about to marry. Continue reading The Road to Recovery – by Sarah Scarr (Victim Survivor)