For many of us 2020 will be far removed from the year that we might have hoped for.
The Covid-19 crisis has unveiled some of the best, and worst aspects of human nature. We’ve seen the number of reported cases of image abuse double, as we’ve taken to our gadgets to seek connections via dating applications, like Scruff, Grindr or Tinder.
We’ve even turned to webcam sites like Zoom, as we’ve searched for virtual sex experiences and sometimes, on the other side of those applications, we’ve had predators who have exploited another unsuspecting victim by sharing their images without their knowledge or consent
Back in 2016 I was one of those unsuspecting victims, lured into a situation where so many aspects of my life were exposed in a heinous criminal act where I was secretly webcam streamed using drugs, and having sex, with the same predator who recorded and uploaded that content. He did so without my permission, and with a blatant disregard for my life and privacy.
The predator responsible for that crime is still free to destroy the life of another individual, and despite being reported to the Police, hasn’t faced any criminal charges or accepted accountability for what happened that night. In short, due to failings within our current legislation, he has suffered no consequence for his actions. Continue reading A Year in Review, as a Male Survivor of Image Based Sexual Abuse – by David Canham
It’s been 4 weeks since the 23rd October, and 4 weeks on I’m slowly beginning to realise just how important that date was…both in a deeply personal way, and in the representation of male IBSA experiencers – whether gay or straight.
Predominately this was an evening to raise awareness about Image Based Sexual Abuse within the LGBTQ community, but it was also about taking those first important steps towards unshackling myself from the humiliation and shame that an IBSA crime bestowed on my life, 3 years ago.
It was about speaking a truth, my truth, and in so doing decreasing the power that experience had over me.
Ultimately that’s what these crimes are all about, the power that the perpetrator(s) have over you….by the way of intentional public shaming. But once you begin to acknowledge, and find a way to ‘own your truth’, that power is diminished. My recovery journey is far from complete, but I will say this, the 23rd October now feels like a truly pivotal turning point in my life. A game changer if you will.
For those of you that have followed my journey, through social media or otherwise, you will know how much this issue means to me – it is truly close it is to my heart – particularly in terms of IBSA representation within the gay community. At the beginning of this year, I challenged myself to fight my fears and speak out. The fight against Image Based Sexual Abuse crimes cannot be won on words alone, and neither could I successfully participate in that battle without being able to vocally speak out.
When I was asked to participate as a member of the panel, I knew instantly that I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t. Despite my fears about speaking publicly, I surprised myself. There was so much that I wanted to say, perhaps there were things that I wanted to say…and didn’t. I have no regrets, only excitement for the future….and what could be achieved in establishing better recognition for both current and future victims of IBSA (Revenge Porn). These crimes are here to stay, and they are developing and adapting. They are destroying more lives on a daily basis and we desperately need change to happen now.
‘Revenge pornography’ could lead to 14 years in jail, say new guidelines
Crown Prosecution Service publishes new guidelines setting out how offenders can be taken to court for posting intimate pictures to get back at a former partner
Posting “revenge pornography” online could lead to a jail term of up to 14 years after prosecutors issued tough new guidelines in a bid to secure more convictions.
The Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) signalled a significant change of tactics to address growing outrage about what it described as a “nasty and invasive crime”.
There has been mounting pressure for a new law to combat “revenge porn”, which involves publishing intimate photographs or video, some of which may include graphic sexual activity, as retaliation against a former partner.
Continue reading Revenge Pornography – New CPS Guidelines
Firstly I would like to give my sincere apologies….! The media has its uses but unfortunately they can also take things out of context. I would like to personally apologise to any ‘victims of rape’ if I have offended you. The headline for the article in The Sun Newspaper should have read ‘cyber raped’ as this is how I feel. Cyber raped by people viewing photos of me that I did not consent to allowing them to view 48,0000 times.
“My life has been completely turned upside down. When Thomas and I took those photos, we were in love and planning on getting married. I sent him one picture and the others he took of me himself. They were for our eyes only and I trusted him to keep them between us. We were in a happy relationship and it never crossed my mind that Thomas would share the pictures publicly and use them against me.When I discovered he’d put them online and they’d been viewed by my family, friends and the people I worked with I felt sick to the stomach. I felt raped, numb and crushed. It was so violating.”
When we first got together I thought ‘wow’ and I told my kids: ‘he’s the one’. I was besotted. We seemed to have so much in common. Continue reading My Story